Your Attitude and my rebellion

You think that you know people, then they turn their backs on you.

You think that you want them in your life and then realise that they don't deserve to be there in the first place.

If I had a penny for everytime I thought about hurting you, I would be a very rich lady.

I thought you were a cute girl that had a low self esteem because of the way your mum treated you.

Now I realise it's because no one wants you. I don't like being around you. I hate seeing your face when I look across at you at a restaurant. You are trying to control me, this is not good enough. How dare you decide that I am going to be your slave or your girlfriend? What does it matter that I have other friends? WHO ACTUALLY LIKE ME. They don't try to change me or tell me that I look fat.

I bought the most amazing dress yesterday and I look a million dollars in it and you wouldn't have even come into the goddamn store with me. When I told you about the black man at the leadership program, you turned up your nose in disgust, telling me that you could not see us together! Well I don't give a flying fuck, because you're an insane bitch! I sometimes wish that I could put you in a well and throw rocks down to hit you, hopefully stopping your cries of fear and misery. Then you would realise that there is more to life than just you! Because you're a fucking bitch!

There used to be a time and a place where I could count on you for emotional support and help. I realise that this was a long time ago. I have changed in that time, I have learnt the skills to deal with your kind and how you treat others. I am writing this in the Griffith University Library on the 23rd of July 2010. I am completing two exams today and I am expecting to fail Nutrition. Introduction to Research was this morning at 8.30am and I had a lift up with Allie and Jes, the fourth year planners that I know. They are beautiful girls that are worth my time! I am glad that I met them when I did.

Also I saw Becky yesterday at three beans when I was with Nathan and Sophie, I hope the bitch dies an awful and horrible death slowly. If there wasn't any people, cameras or any chance of gettting caught I would kill the bitch with thousands of forks, starting by stabbing her in the eyeballs then the vagina and then cutting off her boobs. Seriously do not like that girl, nor do I think I ever will.

Just at uni - procrastinating about the exam, nothing too exciting apart from the hippy next to me - she is an environmental student. You can tell by the horrible oversized clothing, the messy hair, the solemn look and the lack of care that she takes of herself. Not to mention the "name that flower" book that she is holding onto for dear life and the "Save the Environment" lanyard that is attached to the computer via a usb stick.

I assume she is a second year which is depicted by her items of food, her 2057 Botany course reader and the attitude that she is taking to facebook. First years don't bring food and they try to stay off facebook in fear that they should be doing something else. Pretty sure that everyone hates first years. Purely because they wander around and think that they know what they are doing or at least pretend to.

21/09/09

Today.

I moved into a new place on the 4th of this month. One room mate is names Glenn and the other room mate moved in last week and she is a crazy bitch.

Here are the things that make her crazy;

x she tells me that she is depressed, almost everyday and wants to kill herself.

x In the 20 minute space of time when I first met her, she told me her whole life story. Including the gory bits that people shouldn't tell anyone

x On my first night home with her she was dressed in lingerie that showed off her "assets" which made her look like a dirty tramp

x When she moved in she had 17 bags of her shit, 15 of them were clothes

x On that note, when I was trying to go to bed one night she proceeded to pull out these dresses that she owns. Now this girl is not skinny, far from it. She produces multiple dresses that are a size 6-8. SHE IS A FUCKING SIZE 16!

x Everytime she sees me eating, it's healthy. She proceeds to tell me how proud she is of me and then tell me all her dieting plans.

x She hides behind the counter if I am around and she wants to eat something that is "naughty", and then proceeds to pretend it didn't happen.

x She constantly talks about her money problems how she is in debt to many people from schooling to credit cards.

x I was awake this morning when she thought I was asleep. I heard her using my products in the bathroom. My toothbrush, deodorant, perfume and clinique facial washes. If I were to replace these it would cost over $200.

x She put her used sanitary napkins in the bench kitchen bin.

x She thought that the guy that I am seeing was trying to come onto her when he was sitting on the couch minding his own business.

x She dragged me to church on a sunday night, believing that god has found her. Apparently the holy spirit came to her in the church. She went up to the front of the church and proceeded to be "healed". They talked in tongues and proclaimed she was healed and pushed her backwards into the "Hands of God".

x She constantly goes on about her weight loss problems and how she is starving herself to be a smaller size, yet she is doing a personal training course that teaches you to not do that anymore.

x No matter who is in the room, she has to be the center of attention. She will talk over anyone and everyone, just to be heard.

Distinctive Clothing and Males

It has come to my attention that males in general have a certain quality of live in regards to women's clothing. It has taken a few people to mention to this to me, for me to actually see it for myself. With the exposure that an individual recieves online, from people that browse and the people that lurk, is interesting, for hours one may sit on someones profile, watching. While others just look at the "Message Me" button and just go for it. Whether it be the 'Hi, How are you?' or the 'Hey Sexy', one of them is an automatic disregard, the other I may reply. I was fooled into thinking that one of the latter was actually interested in my, but boy, was I wrong. All he wanted and he told me quite specifically was sex. What gives some males the right to degrade me just by looking at my picture. Do I look easy? Do I look like I would really like you to try and talk dirty to me, or even meet up? How does NO sound?

When discussing to a female friend about this, she exclaimed that males are attracted to females that dress like what their intentions are.

Here's me thinking, yeah bullshit, but after thinking about it for a while, it started to make sense. If a male was wanting sex and only sex, he would go looking for a female that was dressed like she was going to put out. Whereas a male that was looking for someone to marry then I'm sure that he would go for a woman that was dressed conservatively. I was wondering what that had to do with me, going through some of my pictures I discovered some ones that are slightly revealing and ones that are slightly provocative. Ones that could suggest that I put out, me drinking, me drunk, me with a number of male friends and ex boyfriends. I could see how men could be getting the wrong idea.
Another time I was out clubbing, I was wearing a knee length fowing dress, nothing sexually attractive, or so I thought. After dancing for a few minutes this guy decided to dance with me, gripping my hips, swaying to the beat, this I was fine with , but the trying to finger me through my dress and the trying to pull it up. When leaving the dancefloor numerous times to try to shake him off he decided to follow me, push me up against a corner, kiss me and push my hand down his pants. I was scared and angry at this arrogant, ugly and disgusting male, how dare he!This is just one example how males do not respect women. Looking through my warderobe, half the stuff I would not be seen dead in, those items I will be chucking out, the rest of them will be kept, but will go under strict examination before I wear them.
Why should males want only one thing? I understand that they have a detachment for the feelings, whereas I sure know that a female will fall in love with the person that she is bonking. Thinking about it all, I just wish that people that decided to add me online were actually going to be friends, not wanting something else. I know of a few that don't just want sex, but they always live far, far away, as per usual. I guess that I shall just have to dress conservatively to get the right person, as I am sick of being used.

Irish and Australian Hugs

You would never think that there is a difference in hugs depending on the place that someone came from, but there is. In Ireland, when you know someone and you give them a hug, you walk up, throw your arms around them and squeeze the air out of them. Whereas in Australia it is the opposite. You just lay your arms around them and hug gently.
I freaked out a Australian the other day, I told him that I was going to give him something and he had to choose whether he wanted the Irish version or the Australian. He decided that he would have the Irish and if he didn't like it, he wanted the Ozzie one. Putting my arms around him and squeezing, he did not know what to do! Afterwards he was flabbergasted, that I had hugged him and the cultural differences.
I thought that it was interesting!